A comprehensive guide to what to do on an online date. You are welcome. Arrive 5 minutes early, and choose a specific vantage point so you can see them but they can’t see you. Have a small heart attack every time someone comes through the door, then breathe a sigh of relief when you realise … More What to do on a online date
This film is yet untitled. Our female protagonist is 28. She is pretty but not in an obvious way. She exists but not in an obvious way. She is smart but not in an obvious way. No one is threatened by this woman. She is Carey Mulligan before she went blonde. She is a good … More Pitch for a film where the female protagonist decides to live each day as if it is her last.
My wife could have been the greatest actress of her generation; she could have been a star. She studied drama at one of the renowned acronym theatre schools, and was considered a natural by peers and lecturers alike. She played Shakespearean heroines with enough grace to bring reviewers to their knees, to coax tears from … More My Wife, The Actress
What is the end game of a date? Please tell me, I am an urban legend, and have forgotten about sex. I keep getting invited in for coffee and when they open up cupboards devoid of caffeinated beverages and I ask why they lied, their expectant smiles turn upside down. I see I might have … More Breeding
“It’s a static zoo,” I joke and she smiles tightly, one of her patent smiles that comes with an inwards eye roll and two or three resentful thoughts as standard. I push my nose up against a glass cabinet full of stuffed hummingbirds. “You’re dead and I’m not, ha-ha,” I sing at them. Their wings … More He and She Pretending
Melanie and me. Melanie and I. Myself and Melanie. Me and my Mel. She had been a dull lump before she met me, just a blur to men. She was nothing until I took her under my wing and educated her in the ways of persuasion, told her it was okay to tell them what … More You Only Talk about the Past with your Friends from University
So apparently Science has invented a ‘relationship checklist’ for men to determine whether they should stick with us long term or not. Science as a whole, pretty nifty (poison = bad for you! Space = big!) but I feel it might be being used for nefarious reasons in this article, e.g to make women feel … More IF A WOMAN HAS THESE 14 QUALITIES NEVER LET HER GO, SCIENTISTS SAY
Like most other single women I often find myself on the tube at rush hour cozying up to strangers just so I can remember what intimacy feels like, so imagine my joy when I stumbled upon an insightful article by Wonderland Magazine called: ‘Five Reasons you are Still Single.’ Initially, I was worried this article … More 5 Reasons You Are Still Single
So I went on my first OKCupid date last week and he was late. Not by much, but enough to send me down the spiral of ‘well, if he’s late for this, does this mean he’s late paying bills, late to the party, late to know the latest trends? Should I just scream ‘ALRIGHT LARRY … More How Does One Date in London: Part 2
So I’ve moved to London aka The Big Smoke (my bogies have turned quite a dark colour since I moved here, should I be worried?) to try and make it in the city, much like Babe, the legendary pig, before me. I had always wanted to move to London, but in the same way I … More How Does One ‘Date ‘ in London?