Comedy, Writing

Kate Hudson’s Healthy Eating Plan Can Kiss My Butt

Hollywood Starlets Kate Hudson’s recently let Women’s Health in on her EXCLUSIVE week long eating plan. You can read it by clicking on the link below.


It really inspired me.

I found it to be a highly achievable and incredibly practical EXCLUSIVE diet plan (however Women’s Health got it, I will never know) and I think the most important thing a woman, super famous or not, can offer in today’s society is insight into what she eats.

Personally I cannot wait to see the actor Mark Ruffolo’s diet plan.

With this plan Kate offers us (the commoners) practical and affordable meal plans which we can all achieve if we put our minds to it. And if you can’t well, you really need to reassess your life. I don’t care if you work for a charity or are super nice to old people. You are letting the side down.

As I too am aiming to be a motivational role model for women, I thought I would follow suit, and offer you my EXCLUSIVE eating plan for the week. You’re welcome. (Sure, I am not as famous as Kate, but I like, use to be a rock star and met Neil Gaiman twice.)

So if you want to look as healthy and mentally balanced as I DO! Follow my plan!



Kate’s Meals

Breakfast: Oatmeal with raisins and chopped walnuts
Snack: A banana
Lunch: Chopped salad with iceberg lettuce, Cos and other greens, olives, celery, radish and cucumber (with a chopped egg white or small portion of grilled chicken if I want to add protein)
Snack: Carrots and celery (with hummus if need extra protein)
Dinner: Lentil Tacos

‘If I’ve eaten meat at lunch, I skip it at dinner’ – KH


 Ellen’s Meals

Breakfast: Half a kinder egg melted into an Oats so Simple pot, with a banana squashed in and semi skimmed milk.
Snack: Half a New Zealand cookie called a Swiggle
Lunch: Half a venison scotch egg, half a Linda McCartney sausage, half a cucumber, some spinach and a bit of cheese.
Snack: an apple
Dinner: Some seabass my mum gave me because it was going off, kale, egg. ALL FUCKED INTO A PAN
Snack: Options hot chocolate with semi skimmed milk
Other snack: Linda McCartney sausage
Other other snack: Bit of Maoam sweet
2 x fizzy vimto zeros

‘If I have eaten chocolate for breakfast, i’ll skip it at dinner.’ EW


I ate most of it before I took the picture – EW

Kate’s Meals


Breakfast: Oatmeal with raisins and chopped walnuts
Snack: Green Power Smoothie
Lunch: Leftover lentil tacos and green side salad
Snack: Half an avocado
Dinner: Butternut squash soup (made with almond milk), sweet potato and chopped salad on the side

 Ellen’s Meals

Breakfast: Wetherspoons vegetarian breakfast (eggs, hash browns, beans, vege sausages – non organic)
Snack: Packed of Snack A Jacks
Snack: Options hot chocolate
Lunch: Porridge (I didn’t have it for breakfast so…)  with banana and diabetic jam (seems healthier than normal jam)
Dinner: Brocolli, Beans, half  a hash brown (stolen off my partners plate) half a crab cake and a veggie sausage.
Snack: Half a bottle of Prosecco



Kate’s Meal

Breakfast: Egg burrito
Snack: A banana
Lunch: Grilled salmon over quinoa
Snack: Handful of almonds or a rice cake with almond butter on top
Dinner: Gluten-free pasta with vegetables (courgettes, yellow squash, onions, peppers)

 Ellen’s Meal

Breakfast: Porridge with smushed in banana
Snack: Kinder Egg and Snack a Jack
Lunch: Cup of Beans, Kale, Veggie Sausage, mixed together in pan with an egg. Served with 2 oatcakes.
Snack: Some yogurt and a bit of jam.
Dinner: Tin of Tuna with vegetables (gherkins)
Snack: The other half a bottle of prosecco


Kate’s Meals

Breakfast: 2 soft-boiled eggs, half grapefruit
Snack: Handful almonds
Lunch: Quinoa with avocado salad, topped with some tuna; olive oil and lemon dressing
Snack: Banana, hot tea
Dinner: Stir-fry; vegetables galore on top of brown rice

 Ellens Meals

Breakfast: Banana, yogurt and porridge. All eaten one after the other for variety.
Snack: Handful of a muffin
Lunch: Salad with duck ragu and a bit of cheese and a bit more cheese (light cheese guys)
Snack: Bag of popcorn
Dinner: Tapas! So everything in my face!
Snack: 2 x cocktails


Kate’s Meal

Breakfast: 2 slice wholegrain toast with almond butter
Snack: Watermelon chunks
Lunch: Leftover stir-fry stuffed into a wholewheat pitta
Snack: Celery sticks with hummus
Dinner: Gluten-free pizza night with the kids


 Ellen’s Meal

Breakfast: 2 poached eggs on rye bread with hulksmashed avocado
Lunch: Bit of quiche, bit of salad, bit of mushroom stroganoff
Snack: Rocky madness waffle with rocky road ice cream, fuckloads of brownies and marshmallows and some hot chocolate sauce.


Dinner: Calzone as big as my face stuffed with chicken and Bechamel sauce.

Snack: Half a bottle of rose


Kate’s Meal

Breakfast: Gluten-free pancakes with the kids
Snack: Homemade trail mix (almonds, cashews, dried unsweetened cranberries)
Lunch: Green smoothie
Snack: Half avocado with a side of quinoa (to hold me until dinner)
Dinner: Out with friends

‘If I’m going out that evening I try to keep it light during the day’ – KH

Ellens Meal

Breakfast/brunch: Mushrooms, potatoes, black pudding, bacon and a sausage. All organic.
Snack: Some of this baby shower cake.


Snack: Cold sausages
Dinner: Mushy peas with light cheese.
Snack: 4 times medium glasses of wine.
Other snack: More cold sausages.

If I’m going out that evening I come home and drunkenly eat cold sausages’ – EW

So thats my plan. I hope you guys feel inspired to write your own, or follow my EXCLUSIVE plan. I think we can all agree its healthier then Kates.

Girls – a call out to the sisters. Please tweet me your EXCLUSIVE eating plans for the week, so others can follow your awesome examples. Also please tell me why it is exclusive, like what have you done to make everyone want to eat like you. Have you met one of the Bee Gees or been an extra on Casualty, or did you once see someone from Blur at a train station? Why do you matter. Why should women want to be like you.

Also doesn’t have to be a week. A day will do. Please attach blurry photos.

tweet to: @ellenclarestarbuck



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